Last month I had the delight of being the guest speaker for my Mom to Mom group of preschool moms.  It was on my daughter’s 18th birthday and she came along to join me and share.  We have entered launch phase around here.  To my heart’s desire, she decided early in the summer to extend our homeschool journey and do a fifth year of high school. I was so excited to share about our journey as mom & daughter, as a homeschool family, and about our plans for this remaining time of high school.

As I took the stage, a fellow Titus Mom’s (mentor mom) lovely Thanksgiving themed gift bags she had brought for her table of preschool moms caught my eye. “Why didn’t I think of that?” invaded my thoughts.  So once again, as I have before, I was able to share before a group how easy it is to fall into the trap of “I am just not doing enough” or “She is so much better at this that I am”, etc.  I asked them to look to the left and then look to the right and then to realized that we are unique individuals.  We are gifted in different ways.  Our children have the mom that was meant for them.  If we look to the left, we should do so only to admire that woman on the left and her creativity but not to be frustrated that we don’t have that same ability.  If we look to the right and her seemingly perfect children, we need to realize that she has struggles of her own, she also has moments of loneliness, times of feeling she could be doing so much better, so much more.

It is hard.  No matter how satisfied we may be in who we are and what we do, in a moment that confidence can get stolen away.  I shared last week over my delight over my Christmas Tea table – an event at my church where I was to host a table of seven ladies attending an evening tea by providing the table setting and centerpiece.  Piece by piece I had put it together over the course of the week.  I was filled with joy with each thrift store find.  Friday night could not have come quick enough to provide the lovely table I was to share.  When I arrived, most of the fellow table hosts had arrived earlier in the day and set their tables.  In the words of Marlin in Nemo, “Good feeling gone”.  I seemed to be in a sea of elaborate tables with charger plates and stemware and elegance.

Now, this was our church’s first Christmas Tea so there wasn’t a precedence on just how to do it.  Each lady had brought her personality to her table and each table was beautiful.  My table, of twenty-some tables, was on the furthest side of our gymnasium.  By the time I reached my empty table I had let discouragement overcome me.  Then my own words began to ring in my ears.  I had looked to the left, I had looked to the right.  I had quickly forgotten the delight I had in what I created.  I had forgotten that I had prayed over this event and that every element had been a blessing and so fun to find, even the last minute butter dish for a dollar at the Goodwill Store.  My table was uniquely “me” and I had loved it when I left my home.

So, I put my blinders on and began to pull out each piece and set my table.  A sweet friend had caught me in the midst of my lack of confidence and encouraged me.   I placed my 13-year-old daughter’s folded Christmas tree napkins on each plate and the compliments began to flow.  I had gone to the grocery earlier in the day and asked my daughter to stuff my cloth napkins in their rings while I was away.  I returned to find that she had turned these napkins into fabulous trees!  They were one of the hits of the evening.  I could not wait to return home to tell her.  My table came together and then I strolled through the room admiring the other tables.  Gone was the feeling of inadequacy.  I saw each table as a reflection of the love and care in which it was created.  I also saw that there was great variety in the tables, some very elegant, some very simple, others somewhere in-between…I had missed that when I had first walked in. I returned to my table and delighted in sharing an exceptional evening with the ladies who joined me.

I am finding I am not alone in that tendency to look around and compare myself to others.  That feeling of “not enough” plagues so many of us.  Be encouraged!  Press on!  There is so much you can do…determine to do it.  When you do, don’t compare what you have done to those around you.  If you are a mom, when you look around you, find happiness in what those fellow moms are doing, learn from them, grow in your own way and remember that you are the mom that was intended for your child.  If you are working with others, strive to improve as you see strengths in others that you want to replicate but don’t waste time in discouragement over what you have or have not done.  Be the unique person you were created to be!